Back in May, Sharknado 2: The Second One was added to the Netflix Australia catalogue with apparently limited fanfare, because I had no idea. Happily though, while I was in search of something from the so-bad-it’s-good genre, there it was. Hurrah! Creature Feature Sunday, a time-honoured though usually hangover-induced tradition in my household, is back in action.

Here are my 50 thoughts from Sharknado 2. Spoiler alert, guys. Spoiler alert. In a big way.

1. Oooh, we’re on a plane. Sharks on a plane?! I hope so!
2. Is that Kelly Osborne?
3. Ian Ziering… so weathered.
4. Get it? Weathered?
5. He’s not enjoying this flight at all.
6. Am I?
7. Yeah, of course I am.
8. “It is happening again.” They are flying through sharks, you guys! FLYING through sharks!
9. Good job Tara Reid’s character wrote a bestselling book on surviving a Sharknado.
10. Ian Ziering is going to fly the plane!
11. Hey, the oxygen masks haven’t dropped (which is clearly the main issue when passengers are being decapitated by sharks).
12. He’s coming in hot!
13. Tara Reid loses a hand while hanging out of an airplane shooting at a shark?! This is AMAZING!
14. It’s suddenly day time?
15. Credits! Theme song! Actual theme song!
16. Holy shit, Mark McGrath is aging worse than Ian Ziering. Let the hair go, man. Let it go.
17. Lock down the city! Call the mayor!
18. Oooh, mention of prosthetics – this bodes very well. Please be a gun or similar.
19. “It’s like he knew who I was!” If this is a shark revenge movie I will be so happy!
20. Why does the weather report have animated sharks and yet no one is taking Ian Ziering seriously? Listen to Steve from 90210, New Yorkers! Jeez.
21. Call the port authority! Call the fire department!
22. There is A LOT of exposition happening by cell phone right now.
23. Sassy cab drivers are an under-utilised plot device though, aren’t they.
24. “Last thing I wanted was to hit a home run for my Pops”. FORESHADOWING! Your time is soon, retired baseball dude. I can feel it.
25. THERE HE GOES!
26. Sharks actively chasing the ferry doesn’t seem congruent with the idea that sharks just get caught up in a storm though.
27. But I’ll run with it.
28. ….
29. WORTH IT.
30. Gator? What?
31. Oh never mind. Shark got him.
32. No chainsaws in Manhattan? Gee, we really take Bunnings for granted.
33. It’s like Indiana Jones outrunning the boulder, but with Liberty’s head. Couldn’t they just…. move to the side? Come on, ladies.
34. Thanks for keeping the exposition on track, news dudes. Storms are converging!
35. Theme song montage! Yeah!
36. I googled the theme song band, who are called Quint. Like in Jaws. Well played.
37. Suggested TMZ-style headline: Tara Reid finds a new outfit / time to accessorise while absconding from hospital.
38. ‘Jumped the shark’ reference after jumping across the backs of several sharks James Bond Live and Let Die/alligator style. Yessss.
39. Not sure how bombs fired into sharknado will help?
40. “This is the Big Apple. When something bites us, we bite back!” ‘MURICA!
41. So if the bombs don’t work, freezing it will somehow work. Science is hard.
42. Ohhh, it’s going to take the power out of the storm.
43. “Shark falling rates of 2 inches per hour” – weatherwoman, actual quote.
44. Followed by motivational speech and chainsaw hero shot. Oh yeah!
45. She’s replaced her hand with a saw! A SAW!!
46. Why is everyone on the street? What did they think would happen when sharks started falling from the sky?
47. Scrap that – I don’t even care. IN AIR CHAINSAW SHARK FIGHT.
48. RIDING a shark to the spire of the Empire State Building? You had me at hello, Ian Ziering.
49. I have just shouted “It’s her hand! It’s HER HAND!” to my empty living room.
50. Actual applause.

Sharknado 2 rates 4 out of 10 jumped sharks.