Author Archives: April

Current Obsessions: breakfast, enamel pins, and learning Spanish

Posted in General by

Going out for breakfast

Shout out to my favourite meal of the day: breakfast.

breakfast

Not only is breakfast the best meal to go out for (in your face, dinner!), but something about taking myself out for breakfast just makes me feel like I have my shit together. Also I feel all inspired and writerly if I write in a cafe. Yeah – I’m that guy.

For those playing at home, my fave local weekend breakfast hang out is The Middle Store on Winston Avenue at Melrose Park. Try the beetroot hummus bagel and the baklava. Yums.

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Enamel pins

My denim jacket has never looked cooler. 2016 sure has shades of the 80s and I’m pretty happy about it. Enamel pins clustered together appeal to my insatiable urge to collect things, my love of brooches, and my propensity for online shopping. I’ve been so impressed with so many designs, I just can’t stop. Favourites:

Just make sure you that if you are shopping for pins you are supporting independent designers and not the big chain stores who are ripping off their designs.

 

Learning Spanish

So, back in the day, I studied Spanish at uni and promptly forgot it all. Well, all the useful stuff anyway. I can still sing the first verse of ‘La Bamba‘, but that wasn’t exactly on the curriculum. It’s just fun to do.

Cut forward to now and I’m trying to learn again, this time using the Duolingo app which is free, super easy to use, and something I got hooked on really quickly. Still, better to be addicted to something where you learn valuable skills than something like, say, Candy Crush (and trust me – I’ve been there, it wasn’t pretty).

duo

Anyway, remember: para bailar la bamba se necesita una poca de gracia*.

Which counts me out, frankly.

‘Til next time,

Sig

 

*  In order to dance la bamba, you need a little grace.

 

Mental game: the ‘run and hide’ method

Posted in Roller Derby by

A lot has been written about goal setting specific to roller derby. A few years ago, my team mate and derby idol St Eve (aka Eve Inbetta) wrote a  great post that I found incredibly helpful on how to set meaningful derby goals – you can read it here. But while much gets said about how to set goals and why having them is a good idea, not much gets said about what to do when you follow all the steps, do all the right things, and still fall short of your goals. Mental game training is all about resilience, but when things just don’t work, repeatedly, despite your very best efforts, it can seriously dent your confidence. It certainly did mine.

I’m not a natural athlete by any definition. And while derby was once lauded as a sport for non-athletes, the way the game is played today is far more suited to those with a natural sporty edge. I take derby seriously, I try to set realistic goals, I work hard on fixing my mental game and improving my weaker skills. But ultimately I ended up taking a very long break this year because not a single one of my goals for the first half of 2016 came to fruition and, I’m not gonna lie, it hurt. A lot. It’s not like I was just casually plodding along, hoping for the best.

I tried HARD and I failed.

I have thought long and hard about why this was and what it meant, and why I felt so humiliated. I’ve been skating with my league for 3+ years. Had I set unrealistic goals? I didn’t think so. Am I just a bad skater? I’m not great but I’m not awful, surely? It’s easy to say don’t compare yourself to others, but when people take to something you struggle with like ducks to water, it’s hard not to wonder what secret they have that you’re missing out on. I did my best, what more could I do? I’ve pondered a lot during my break whether there is even a place for me in derby if I can be around for this long and still not achieve some seemingly very achievable things.

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Why don’t you work?

There’s a great saying about falling down nine times and getting up ten, but let me tell you how exhausting that can be. As an over-thinker, over-analyser, and my biggest critic, soldiering on was only serving to dig my hole deeper. I was too close, too critical, too sore. It’s no surprise to me that eventually I had to run away to lick my wounds. This mental game business is hard work, and while goals are important and there are ways to set good ones that put you on the right track, success is never a given. It’s a sucky truth that sometimes things just don’t work out.

Taking a break has not been easy. As much as I needed to clear away some thoughts and set my derby brain in order, the trade-off has been feelings of displacement and serious FOMO. Still, taking a break was the right thing for me and if it has taught me one thing it’s that I’m not ready to give it all away. I hope I can find my place again soon.

So how do you build yourself up when you fall short? Shit dude, you’re asking the wrong girl because I have no idea. But when I head back to training in November, I’m going to start by trying a few of these and seeing how it goes:

  • Focus on more process goals and fewer outcome goals
  • Take a step back; don’t over analyse
  • Ask for feedback; ask for help
  • Celebrate small wins
  • Be kind to yourself

If you have any advice, I’d be keen to hear it.

‘Til next time,

Sig

[Don’t] Send in the Clowns

Posted in General by

You know that old saying: it’s all fun and games until people decide to dress as clowns and lurk about the place scaring the living bejeebus out of people? Well, welcome to 2016, where that bucket of weirdness is our unfortunate reality.

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock (smart move: the clowns can’t get you there) you will have heard about the ‘clown purge’. It’s such a big thing, that in the US schools have gone into lockdown and at Penn State, 6000 college students charged out of their dorms to HUNT CLOWNS reportedly sighted on campus.

6000.

To. Hunt. Clowns.

You know what that is?

Mass hysteria.

masshysteria

2016 is weird, man.

The craze or whatever you would like to call it has now hit Australia and the police, for presumably the first time ever, are issuing warnings to not dress as clowns:

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Who knew clowns would invade before zombies, right? What’s interesting to me about the clown purge is the sheer scale of it. Even Stephen King is weighing in on this one because, let’s face it, he didn’t really help make clowns any less scary by writing It. (Too little too late, Stevo. You brought this on yourself).

Think about it. What was the last thing the general populace en masse freaked out about? Anyone? Because it seems in the age of social media we’re collectively pretty snappy about nipping hoaxes and bullshit in the bud. So why have clowns of all things whipped us all into a terrified frenzy?

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There are lots of reasons to be afraid of clowns, as it turns out.

The general theory seems to be communication focused – wearing a mask or grease paint hides facial expressions leaving us with no means to read the facial clues which help us determine whether they come in peace or want to eat us. There’s a disquiet that comes with expressionless beings. It’s sinister. Additionally, context is so important to how we react to things. Sudden, surprise clowns appearing out of nowhere in ordinary settings (as opposed to say, a circus) break an unspoken agreement because they aren’t supposed to be there, and our brains freak. That’s science, man. I’m telling you.

I’ll tell you one other thing. If I see some weirdo dressed as a clown pop up in my rear view mirror I am pretty likely to run them down with my car. I won’t even feel bad about it.

But if nothing else, imagine what it will be like when we are old, reminiscing about that time in 2016 when we all hunted clowns. Oh, how we will laugh. And isn’t that, after all, what clowns are supposed to be about?

‘Til next time,

Sig

Gilmore Girls Revival Anxiety

Posted in Watching by

Let me make myself abundantly clear. I freakin’ love Gilmore Girls. I just do. As fictional TV settings go, Stars Hollow is pretty high on my list of places to live; a perpetual autumn wonderland where pop culture is currency, coffee runs freely and junk food doesn’t make you fat. It’s just so darn nice, you know? So I did a small, happy dance when news broke of the upcoming revival, a four part ‘year in the life’ mini series to be released in November.

But. BUT. The more I read about what’s in store for the revival, even with a promising trailer and the comforting knowledge that original show runner Amy Sherman-Palladino is back at the helm (can we pretend season 7 never happened?), the more I am set upon by a distinct unease. Ok, ‘set upon’ is a bit strong, but there is definitely unease lurking there, somewhere beneath the glossy sheen that six hours of fast talking, heartfelt, dramedy seems to promise. Remember how excited we were when Netflix brought back Arrested Development and it was okay but… just okay? I’ve got worries.

Ghosts of boyfriends past.

All of Rory’s ex boyfriends will be there. Blerg. People seem so divided over which of Rory’s three suitors should have been hers forever but can we not take a sec to remember they were all, in individual ways, kind of terrible? Is it a High Fidelity style self-examination-through-past-mistakes situation?  I hope not. I hope Rory’s storyline will not revolve around her ex boyfriends.

My hope for the revival is that the return of the three dudes is for cameo value only. So much of the conflict of the show is around how Rory has the pressure of being something in her own right – to not be defined as wife, like Emily, or to make mistakes and struggle like Lorelai. I hope in the revival we get to see her be that something, the something she set off to be by turning down a proposal to go be a journalist on the Obama campaign, instead of defining her by her relationships to Dean, Jess and Logan.

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Blerg. (Source)

The fate of Lane Kim.

Oh Lane, how much more you deserved than one dud shag which ultimately saw you stuck in the small town you longed to leave, with twins, while your husband went on tour. Please be only back in Stars Hollow for a short visit between doing kick ass things and living a rock n roll lifestyle.

Hep Alien forever!

Stars Hollow circa 2016.

Stars Hollow feels so firmly fixed in the early 2000s and I’m just not sure how it will fit in 2016. How will Doose’s Market compete when you know there is likely a Wholefoods not ten minutes down the road? How is Mrs Kim coping with hordes of hipster antique pickers, casually instagramming the living shit out of all those autumn colours? What’s on Kirk’s youtube channel? I seriously want to know. But the world is a heavier place than it was in 2006 and what if Stars Hollow has lost its cosy shine? We’re already going to be faced with tears over the death of Richard Gilmore. What if come 2016 Stars Hollow, itself practically a character in the show, just doesn’t quite work?

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Highly instagrammable. (Source)

The trailer seems to be trying its hardest to enforce that we are very much ‘in the now’, with cracks about Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop, Amy Shumer, and the corpse flower. As much as I’d love to hear Lorelai’s takes on Pokemon Go and uber, I hope it’s not just topical gags. There are better ways to bring out a maturity of ten years. As a town that wasn’t always diverse or inclusive, wouldn’t it perhaps be nice if the rumoured wedding was, say, Michel’s?

Regardless of how it plays out, don’t ask to see me come 25th November. I have plans.

‘Til next time,

Sig

Things the SA Blackout Taught Me About the Upcoming Apocalypse

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In case you missed it (where are you? is it warm? can I visit?), South Australia was hit by massive storms this week which, on Wednesday, saw the entire state without power. It basically looked something like this:

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Kidding. From where I was sitting it actually looked like this:

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Now – I’m not one to be dramatic*, but sheltered in a pub, two wines in, it certainly seemed that amid the torrential rain, wide spread loss of power, and general ominous atmosphere there were certainly shades of the apocalypse about the place. There would be zombies before we knew it.

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Did a statewide blackout really signal the onset of the apocalypse? It did not. But it might have, right? Surely that will be Step One when old mate Armageddon rolls into town? So let us prepare. Here are some things that the blackout taught me about the impending end of days:

  1. I am woefully unprepared. Torch? No. Batteries? Negative. Important phone numbers? Yeah, in my dying phone. The news keeps telling people in affected areas to enact their flood plans. Is that something I am supposed to have? I don’t. I don’t even have a waterproof jacket.
  2. What I do have, though, is about 1,000 Ikea tealights, which were finally, finally useful.
  3. Reading by candlelight hurts your eyes.
  4. The whole thing was dead boring. What was left to do? Go to bed? I am going to be so well rested in our post-apocalyptic future if there is nothing to do come 8pm.
  5. There is a facility to mark yourself ‘safe’ from flooding on facebook. As far as I can tell marking yourself ‘unsafe’ does not signal for help.

 

In a nutshell: pack a brolly, enact your flood plans.

Stay safe,

Sig

*Okay, fine. Yes, I am.

 

 

 

 

Top 5 Unexpected Benefits of Roller Derby

Posted in Roller Derby by

When I started training for roller derby, I had an idea in my head of what I wanted to get out of it – it was for fitness, it was to be social, it was for fun. I’d be stronger, more coordinated. I’d be able to do cool stuff on skates. Derby though – in that delightful derby way – is full of surprises. Here’s my top five unexpected benefits of roller derby…

1. I don’t need to touch door handles
Because I can just hip check every door and drawer closed. Keeps my mitts germ free and all.

2. Lulls in conversation do not exist
You know why? Because I’m talking about derby. Why can’t I do that thing I’m trying? What wheels should I get? Who’s going to training? Who’s not going to training? Did you see that awesome thing that worked? Where did you buy your sparkly shorts? Or, with non-derby people, “Oh, you haven’t watched derby? No, there isn’t a ball. Let me explain…” Awkward silences? A thing of the past.

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Photo by Erin Green. Note my lack of sparkly shorts.

3. Body confidence
Never did I ever think I would be ok rocking up to the pub in fishnets and booty shorts. Because of, you know,  flaws and because if I am basically not wearing pants, I’m notoriously, you know, self conscious. But I am totally ok with it. I think I rock them pretty damn well, actually. The thing I love about derby is that there is no perfect size or shape. There is no ideal derby body. Any body is a good body for derby. I’ve never felt more at home in mine.

4. Answers to questions
I hate to be put on the spot with questions like ‘what would you like for your birthday?’ and ‘is there anything you need?’, but derby gives me ready-made answers in times of need. I’d like new elbow pads. I need new wheels. New knee socks. Those cute sparkly shorts with my name on them. A gift voucher for a skate shop. That would be really handy, thanks for asking! (See also: ‘what are you doing on the weekend?’. Derby, duh.)

5. Ability to negotiate terrible amenities at music festivals
I’m never more grateful for derby stance than when I need to pee in a port-a-loo. True story.

‘Til next time,

Sig

CREATURE FEATURE SUNDAY: Dragon Wasps (2012)

Posted in Watching by

Creature Feature Sunday was on again this weekend. I settled down with a beer and a big bowl of popcorn for this interpretation of the classic man vs jungle vs giant genetically-modified wasp story. We’ve all been there.

It’s actually the sort of thing I was looking for when I watched Monsters (2010). On the surface, Monsters seemed to have a similarly promising ‘jungle/monsters/run for your lives’ kind of vibe, but it ended up being quite an understated, smart movie. (Monsters, if you were wondering, does have legit monsters, but they take a side seat to the main characters’ metaphorical internal monsters. At the time this struck me as disappointing, but on reflection, it was kind of cleverly done even if it didn’t deliver the exploding head quota I was looking for).

Dragon Wasps, happily, is neither understated nor smart. Hot entomologist and friend team up with the US Army to find her missing father in the jungle. Hijinks obviously ensue, including gunfire-riddled encounters with voodoo drug dealer Jaguar and his guerrilla buddies and – of course – a swarm of fire spitting, armoured, terrible CGI dragon wasps.

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Corin Nemec (of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose and Stargate SG1 fame) heads the up Army unit and, bless his cotton socks, he’s really on board and doing his best with his latest run of creature features (Sand Sharks, Jurassic Attack, Robocroc and more), thus solidifying his potential as my future husband substantially.

But back to the dragon wasps. I’m no entomologist, so thank goodness the scientists were there to inform me, after an extensive examination, that dragon wasps are “basically giant wasps” (direct quote; not even joking). Their obvious smarts don’t save them from mistaking bricks of cocaine for bricks of C4 plastic explosive though. Gosh darn, you guys. How was she supposed to know? It’s fine though, because cocaine is dragon wasp repellent so… The moral of the story seems to be a) screwing with nature is bad b) cocaine saves the day. No, wait. That can’t be right, surely? And yet.

Giant wasps, you say? What tipped you off?

Basically giant wasps, you say? What tipped you off?

With a good amount of blood spatter, fire, and more than one exploding head, Dragon Wasps rates 2.5 out of 5 worker bees.

‘Til next time,

Sig

5 Things That (Almost) 2 Years of Roller Derby Has Taught Me

Posted in Roller Derby by

Back in 2013, when I had just failed my first attempt at roller derby fresh meat, I wrote this post about what the 10 week training program had taught me. In a move strangely contrary to how I normally respond to failure, I stuck with it – mostly because of the things I wrote about in that post. We’re coming to the tail end of my second season playing roller derby and a LOT has happened, including some achievements that I am really proud of. Amongst them: co-captaining my team, playing interstate, playing in the Great Southern Slam, being on my league’s Board, PR Crew and Event Committee. It’s been hard work and oftentimes it has also been confronting and humbling. It’s driven me to tears, made me laugh hysterically, and sometimes made me more exhausted than it seems reasonable for a regular human to be.

I’ve read a lot of those ‘roller derby saved my soul’ posts. This is not one of those posts. Don’t be so over dramatic. Roller derby did not save my soul, even though it came into my life during a somewhat apocalyptic time. My soul didn’t need saving. Derby, actually, can be a tough mistress. It’s built me up, it’s knocked me down. Rinse, repeat. But regardless, roller derby has taught me some stuff and some of that is stuff about myself. Some of those lessons have been hard, some less so. It seems a good time then, with the 2015 grand final looming, to revisit my list. So here are 5 things (almost) two years of roller derby has taught me…

Everything IS cool when you’re part of a team

No, seriously. I’ve never played team sports before and I can’t tell you how much I value being part of my team. My team is awesome – we support each other, we challenge each other, we make each other laugh. We’re there with a kind word, some strong advice, a lame joke and a pat on the back at the end of the day. All of this makes us a strong unit on the track. We know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, we know how to work together, how to communicate to get the derby done. As someone who struggles with confidence on the track I really appreciate my team mates across the league whether they are in my home team or one of our travel teams. They are all different in their skill level, style and approach but they have one thing in common when we play: they each make me feel like a stronger skater.

Photo courtesy of Erin Green.

Photo courtesy of Erin Green.

 You DO have to work on your mental game

I’m such a jerk – to me. I get inside my head and I focus on the things I do wrong rather than the things I do right. Or what I think I can’t do rather than what I can do. Mental toughness is under-trained or, more often, completely ignored and we tend to forget that activities that are taxing on the body can also be taxing on the mind. I have a habit, which is well known in my league, of shaking my head aggressively when someone hands me a jammer panty and – usually mid jam – declaring “but I’m not a jammer” which is exactly what not to do. So I’ve been working hard on some strategies in this regard – it’s been a big goal for the last half of the year. It’s really easy to forget how far we’ve come. Naomi ‘Sweetart” Weitz nails it in her book The Ultimate Mental Toughness Guide: Roller Derby. I can’t recommend this book enough, particularly for its derby relevant examples. You can buy it on Amazon here.

Also, these peeps have some great tips around improving your mental game and probably say it more eloquently than me:

http://www.derbycentral.net/2015/06/qs-tips-mental-training-and-how-we-self-sabotage/

http://callthejam.com/2013/12/13-things-mentally-strong-derbyists-dont-do/

http://khaostheoryblog.com/2015/04/24/why-we-play-2/

Leagues take A LOT of effort to make them work

Take a minute to think about how much time and effort might go into coordinating a whole year of training sessions and bouts: booking venues around availability, assigning trainers, assessing potential clashes, working out a logical season structure. Now think about all the other parts of a running a business that you might not instantly associate with your league when you rock up with your skate gear and get on with your fun skatey times. Managing the legalities of things like insurance and memberships, finances and accounts, promotion and marketing. And that’s just the beginning. I had little to no idea how much work goes into making my league all that it is and all it can be. Do your bit, give someone a hand with organising something, take a hands on role – ‘by the skaters, for the skaters’ isn’t just a catchy slogan. It’s what derby is about and it’s why we get to come along to training and have a blast.

You CAN be tough, even when you don’t want to be

This is the one thing I am including on the list that runs the risk of straying dangerously close to ‘soul saving’ territory, but bear with me. Derby has proven to me time and time again that I am strong and capable even when it would be far easier to hide under a blanket and hibernate my way through the tough stuff. And maybe it was true all the time, but derby is a constant reminder that I can handle shit and that, actually, I can be brave too. It’s a powerful lesson to learn that you can tap into those inner reserves and manage difficult challenges on skates or off.

Photo courtesy of Erin Green

Photo courtesy of Erin Green.

Roller derby is a special community

Roller derby blows me away with its inclusive spirit. It’s fascinating to see such diverse types of people come together and build such a strong community around this sport. I think one of my league mates captured exactly what I want to say when she recently told me: “there’s a shift happening – the sport is becoming less about the public spectacle, and more about skills and health and fitness and strength and community. Our community is built on the positive relationships we’ve built between our intraleague teams as well as with other leagues (because those are our fans – plus our mums), plus a sense of support and growth between leagues both here and interstate.”

Thumbs up, roller derby. You get me.

What else are you going to do when you stumble upon Derby Street?

Human pyramid. Because what else are you going to do when you stumble upon Derby Street?

Incidentally, if you are in the area, you should definitely come along to the Light City Derby Grand Final on 31 October (Halloween!) which will see the Regimental Rollers battle the Galactic Guardians for the coveted (and sparkly!) LCD season trophy. Saturday 31 October at St Clair Recreation Centre, Woodville SA. Doors at 6pm, $5 entry.

‘Til next time,

Sig

BOOK REVIEW: You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) by Felicia Day

Posted in Reading by

I’m kind of a pop culture nerd and I don’t mind saying so. Popular culture is a fascinating vehicle for examining the philosophical and moral concepts of society en masse. Mass production, mass communication, mass consumption, fan culture – I dig it because people show what’s important to them in a broader sense through how they consume and respond to pop culture. Also I dig it because I like to quote Star Wars a lot.

I saw Felicia Day speak at Supanova Pop Culture Expo in Adelaide in 2012. At the time, I was only familiar with her work from Joss Whedon’s Dr Horrible’s Sing Along Blog and Buffy and I had a vague notion of her creating a web series that was super popular but that I hadn’t seen. How little I knew. I remember the session being funny and inspiring and I became an instant Felicia fan as she talked through the highs, lows and overall success of The Guild and the [at the time] very recent launch of Geek and Sundry with youtube. Holy cow, this chick was an online mogul and could do all these things and still be hilarious and personable with her fans? What champ. Being somewhat in awe of her ongoing new media career since then, I was super excited when I found out her memoir You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) was being released this month.

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Following her unconventional home-schooled childhood, her college days studying an unusual mix of maths and violin, and her move to LA to commence her acting career, underpinned throughout by her early adoption of and addiction to all things internet, the book is ceaselessly funny and frank, and feels like sitting down for a good long chat.

Oh, and just quietly, Felicia Day herself casually liked my Instagram photo of her book so, like… YAY!

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Yeah. I fangirled. HARD.

Never Weird is less a ‘this is how I became an internet pioneer’ success story and more a love letter to difference, showing that breaking the mould and chasing your own model of creative happiness is what personal success is really about. So let your freak flag fly and all that, because Felicia is proof there is a terrific freedom in just being you.

‘Til next time,

Sig

Nostalgic Medicine featuring the Care Bears

Posted in General by

Anyone who knows me even a little knows that I have a pretty rubbish immune system. I’ve blogged about being sick before. Bascially, winter has felt like one long plague season and I have largely forgotten what it’s like to wake up in the morning and feel well. 

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When I was a kid there was one rule whenever I felt unwell. That rule stipulated that the only thing that could possibly make me feel better was watching The Care Bears Movie. If you don’t know it, it’s a fairly terrible animated movie from 1985 in which the Care Bears befriend some lonely orphans and help a magician’s assistant break away from the spell of an evil spirit. Mickey Rooney does one of the voices. The Care Bears use their Rainbow Rescue Beam and discover the Care Bear Cousins. Carole King sings the theme song. Care-a-Lot is a place we all can go, you guys. If you don’t know where it is, look inside your heart.

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Seriously – it’s vomitous.

I’m not sure exactly what restorative powers I imagined the movie possessed, especially given the sheer force of its rot-your-teeth-while-you-watch sweetness. The very mention of the movie these days I am sure causes my mother an involuntary eye twitch from many a night spent with a sick child and the movie on an apparently endless loop (Hi Ma! I’m feeling much better, no need to bring soup x). But I stood by my own questionable medical remedy for years and it’s entirely possible that The Care Bears Movie is burned into my memory in a way no other movie will be.

Yes. I still have a Care Bear. (For my health).

Yes. I still have a Care Bear. (For my health).

This winter, as I negotiate my wellspring of immunity failings, I can think of nothing I rely on with such determination as a sick adult except medically sound though wholly uninteresting things like paracetamol, vitamin C, and aloe vera tissues. And though I worry it may make cynical, adult me want to stab my own eyes out with my Vicks inhaler, I am very tempted to track down a copy of The Care Bears Movie in readiness for next time, just in case.

‘Til next time,

Sig