RECAP: Reading | Watching | Loving – May 2021

Posted in General, Reading, Watching by April

Something something, back from the dead… I know, folks. I KNOW. A solid year and then some, and here we are like nothing ever happened. My sweet zombie blog is back, limping its awkward shuffle, looking a little less fleshy and a bit green around the edges. Nice to see you, to see you nice.

I’ve had an inkling to resurrect this little old thing for some time. Let’s start gently with a little recap of the month that was…

READING
Technically this list is for both April and May, but I make the rules here so them’s the breaks. This delish little pile featured teen saviours turned mixed up adults thrust back into the world-saving business, women shaping the first dictionary, familial mystery and obsession, parallel universes, books that felt like a big, warm hug and a borrowed book that had a lot of potential but, for me, didn’t deliver.

A stack of books read during April and May.

The Amber Amulet – Craig Silvey (3 stars)
Jitterbug Perfume – Tom Robbins (2 stars)
Chosen Ones – Veronica Roth (3.5 stars)
Last Night in Montreal – Emily St John Mandel (3 stars)
The Dictionary of Lost Words – Pip Williams (4 stars)
The Midnight Library – Matt Haig (4 stars)

WATCHING
As someone who spends a considerable amount of time on their couch, I’m always binging two or three shows at a time. In a global pandemic world, I’ve been most enjoying easy-watch, no-fuss viewing, opting to comfort and familiarity over anything too confronting or challenging. What can I say? The world is confronting and challenging enough right now.

Girls5eva, from creator Meredith Scardino (of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt fame) was an unexpected, hilarious delight. The cast is very good and the writing solid. I ate up all 8 eps in a flash.
Always a sucker for an underdog story and a fan of America Ferrera, Ugly Betty made for a good 4 season binge. It hasn’t aged well in some regards (particularly its take on transgender storylines) but broadly it’s quite a fun time. Where it succeeds is in its balance of convoluted telenovela plotting with a thoughtful treatment of familial relationships within Betty’s own family. Certainly a precursor to Jane the Virgin (which probably did these things much better but without the fabulous outfits).
Younger S4. Meh. Time to wrap this one up for sure. That said I am enjoying seeing how many ways they try to hide Hilary Duff’s very obvious pregnancy (holding big things, mostly).
After revisiting the low-budget/high-fun OG Buffy movie recently, I decided to give Buffy S1 a rewatch and one thing’s for sure – it’s been too long. Mad props for the early eps laying such a strong foundation of Angel’s storyline so early and special mention to Giles’s scarves. (Also RIP low-waisted jeans – let’s hope the current 90s inspired fashion trends don’t bring this back).

LOVING
May always feels like one of those awkward, in-between months, but there were certainly some highlights. I flew on a plane for the first time in over a year, celebrated a milestone birthday (not mine) with the fam for a delightfully wintery beach holiday, got excited about hat weather (berets are back, you guys!) and dead set LOVED all the things in the Princess Highway AW21 collection. Really I should be diverting a portion of my salary there every fortnight. Send help.

‘Til next time,

13Oct2016

Mental game: the ‘run and hide’ method

Posted in Roller Derby by April

A lot has been written about goal setting specific to roller derby. A few years ago, my team mate and derby idol St Eve (aka Eve Inbetta) wrote a great post that I found incredibly helpful on how to set meaningful derby goals – you can read it here. But while much gets said about how to set goals and why having them is a good idea, not much gets said about what to do when you follow all the steps, do all the right things, and still fall short of your goals. Mental game training is all about resilience, but when things just don’t work, repeatedly, despite your very best efforts, it can seriously dent your confidence. It certainly did mine.

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Photo by EK Photography

I’m not a natural athlete by any definition. And while derby was once lauded as a sport for non-athletes, the way the game is played today is far more suited to those with a natural sporty edge. I take derby seriously, I try to set realistic goals, I work hard on fixing my mental game and improving my weaker skills. But ultimately I ended up taking a very long break this year because not a single one of my goals for the first half of 2016 came to fruition and, I’m not gonna lie, it hurt. A lot. It’s not like I was just casually plodding along, hoping for the best.

I tried HARD and I failed.

I have thought long and hard about why this was and what it meant, and why I felt so humiliated. I’ve been skating with my league for 3+ years. Had I set unrealistic goals? I didn’t think so. Am I just a bad skater? I’m not great but I’m not awful, surely? It’s easy to say don’t compare yourself to others, but when people take to something you struggle with like ducks to water, it’s hard not to wonder what secret they have that you’re missing out on. I did my best, what more could I do? I’ve pondered a lot during my break whether there is even a place for me in derby if I can be around for this long and still not achieve some seemingly very achievable things.

Why don’t you work?

There’s a great saying about falling down nine times and getting up ten, but let me tell you how exhausting that can be. As an over-thinker, over-analyser, and my biggest critic, soldiering on was only serving to dig my hole deeper. I was too close, too critical, too sore. It’s no surprise to me that eventually I had to run away to lick my wounds. This mental game business is hard work, and while goals are important and there are ways to set good ones that put you on the right track, success is never a given. It’s a sucky truth that sometimes things just don’t work out.

Taking a break has not been easy. As much as I needed to clear away some thoughts and set my derby brain in order, the trade-off has been feelings of displacement and serious FOMO. Still, taking a break was the right thing for me and if it has taught me one thing it’s that I’m not ready to give it all away. I hope I can find my place again soon.

So how do you build yourself up when you fall short? Shit dude, you’re asking the wrong girl because I have no idea. But when I head back to training in November, I’m going to start by trying a few of these and seeing how it goes:

Focus on more process goals and fewer outcome goals
Take a step back; don’t over analyse
Ask for feedback; ask for help
Celebrate small wins
Be kind to yourself

If you have any advice, I’d be keen to hear it.

‘Til next time,

5Apr2015

Current Obsessions

Posted in General by April

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Cadbury Mini Eggs

What can I say? ‘Tis the season. That crispy sugar shell. Yes. A thousand times yes.

Gilmore Girls

I haven’t watched Gilmore Girls since it was first on telly back in the early 2000s. I’m binge-watching it from the start because, you know what? It’s pretty great. I want to live in a perpetual autumn / perpetual coffee wonderland where I too can dazzle people with my witty banter and effortless hair. It’s a sweet show, and a smart one, and I’m finding it thoroughly worth revisiting. (Side note: how had we all forgotten that Sebastian Bach was a recurring actor in this? How, I ask you?).

Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure polishes

I love a good nail polish and I am loving these! The wide brush makes for easy application, the colours are opaque after two coats, and they come in a nice range of colours that are reasonably long wearing. Berry Important has been a staple on my nails the last few months.

My planner

I’m a busy person. Last year I struggled to keep everything organised and I was the queen of double booking and forgetting when things (like… bills, for example) were due. This year I am making sure I am super organised thanks to my big ol’ planner. I’m very visual and a bit old school, so having a physical planner works for me. I have a red Debden exec-style one which ran the risk of being a bit drab, but I’ve updated it with some Kikki-K dashboard accessories and some other doodads which make it my own.

Autumn colours: Mustard

Red hair and yellow anything is a precarious combo at the best of times, but I’ve latched onto this whole autumn / mustard trend revival with some Mamas and the Papas level appreciation for all the leaves being brown and the sky being grey. There is apparently just enough brown in the shade to work with my weird freckly / ginger complexion – I just wish I was whimsical enough to pull off a wide brimmed winter hat.

‘Til next time,

21Apr2014

Easter

Posted in General by April

The Easter long weekend seems like an appropriate time to stage some sort of comeback. I’m told it’s the done thing (if you’re into that sort of thing), so check it out – my blog lives.

I wasn’t in a good place when I ditched my 100 Happy Days project in the ninth week. It wasn’t me at my best. But I’ve missed writing my weekly blog posts, happy or otherwise, so here we go again.

I’ve had one of the nicest Easter weekends I can remember, and it’s due in no small part to the alarming volume of chocolate I have consumed. I also spent time with some of my favourite people and aced my Easter bunny manicure attempt, so it’s not all about the cocoa. (Except that it kind of is).

My amazing friend Jessy threw the most impressive Easter high tea for the girls, and it was a little slice of girly luxury, and I want to do it every year. Jessy is one of the most creative and talented people I know, with such a keen eye for the small details that she should be a party planner. For realsies. Check out her instagram feed for all things nice. And a few snaps of my own below:

In other news since we last spoke, things have been pretty peachy as far as roller derby goes. I survived my first two bouts, which were hugely nerve-wracking but lots of fun. I’m not sure how much I contributed overall – apart from looking like a deer in headlights and swearing loudly at myself every time I did something wrong – but you have to start somewhere. Here’s a quick photographic summary to bring you up to speed: